True story: music upped my sex game.
I’ll admit that I was sound-deprived during sex for years. When we were young, music was more expensive and more fumbly, requiring CDs and a lot of pre-planning. Next came babies, and we found ourselves shushing not only each other but also our squeaky bed and our stereo. We weren’t about to be interrupted by a cry for Mama’s milk mid-coitus. After over ten years of soundless sex, it became natural.
And then we were reintroduced to the melody of making love. That’s one of the best parts of being in an open relationship — the tips and techniques that you acquire from others and work into your personal sexual repertoire. Once music made its reentry into our lovemaking, it became as essential as the right lighting, the right sheets, and the right toys. We even invested in an Amazon Alexa device to avoid the awkward pause-in-the-middle-of-thrusting to switch to the song; now we just tell “Echo” what to do from whatever position we’re in.
Music helps me get, and stay, in the mood. Turn on the right music, and my thoughts go from whose lunch still needs packing in the morning to downright dirty. Or sensual. Or romantic, or kinky, or submissive, or spiritual. Choose your music, and set the stage for the sex session ahead of you.
Here are the Spotify playlists that Jack and I find ourselves getting turned on by time and again:
in the zone with eliza
by LibrarianByDay
Yup, this one is mine, and I think that just goes to show you…the best playlist for you is probably going to be the one that you cultivate for yourself over the years. If you’re curious what I get off to…well, here it is. I like it moody, sensual, a little dark, and with a beat that inspires me to dance for my partner.
2HotWives – Hot List
by 2HotWives
Like the podcast? Chances are that you’ll like their music, too! I initially interacted with these two awesome ladies when they sent me their playlist to include on my blog, and we hit it off from there. Our taste in music overlaps as you’ll see, with all of us enjoying modern songs with beat, rhythm, and a bit of an edge.
Yoga Chill
by LibrarianByDay
In truth, I typically like to practice yoga to this playlist, but when Jack and I want a more spiritual, ethereal sex session, these are tunes that help us connect and converge our souls. It’s what I would call “pretty” music with a beat that will help you breathe through the pleasure.
Femme Fatale
by Spotify
Spotify describes this four-hour collection of songs as “powerful voices and dark, alluring siren songs.” I find myself listening to this one when I’m pre-gaming for the night ahead, whether that be driving home from work or cleaning the kitchen, letting my mind wander to the pleasures ahead. It’s great for tapping into that darker, feminine side of myself, as well as for the special nights that I get to have sex with other women.
sensual dark blues
by SHERINA
This one also falls into the “femme fatale” category, though I find it better suited for sex than the previous playlist. It’s a little dark, a little R&B, a little pop, and very lusty. With over 10 hours of music here, we find that we can shuffle play it during sex for nights on end without getting musical deja vu.
Stay in Bed
by Spotify
The songs on this list are sweet, mellow tunes that might inspire “Eskimo kisses” between you and your lover under a puffy duvet on a bright Sunday morning. This chill music makes sex feel organic and a little boho. It’s not explicit; I often have this playing in the background of our home during the day, even with the kids around. It’s also good for writing. The songs are more mainstream than others on my list, and most have vocals.
You & Me
by Spotify
I imagine many of these songs would be used as part of an Indie drama/rom-com movie soundtrack, especially in a scene where one half of a couple realizes their love for the other and has to make a long drive across the country to get to them. Nothing explicit here, but it’s definitely pop with a slight alt edge.
Sexy as Folk
Yes, folksy music. I enjoy this soundtrack when I’m in the mood to begin sex with a good makeout session. It feels loving with a sensual vibe. Nice for slower, gentler sex, yet appropriate background music for around the house.
Indie Sex
by Elsaa Rosas
This is a great mix of indie, alternative, soul, pop, and erotic. There’s a huge selection here…you can easily get some background music going on here with songs you don’t already know, punctuated with modern sex classics like “Earned It” and music from Bille Eilish. This works best for us when we’re a little stoned and have some incense accompanying an exploration of our partner.
sex 4 virgins
by samitmoan
This feels like a little bit of everything, including Bryan Adams, Radiohead, Two Feet, Lana Del Rey, The Weeknd, FINNEAS, Bruno Mars, and Drake. But, truthfully, this one had Jack at Pink Floyd. Slower songs for making passionate love.
Sexual Passion
by agubagu
These are explicit songs, with more of a beat. They’re a little edgier yet ethereal, and most songs have vocals. Oftentimes I’m not in the mood for vocals, and this one has less vocals, so there ya go. This is one of our go-tos when we’re playing with kink or just feeling really sexy and passionate.
Erotic Shades
by chrisalexiou12
This one is definitely darker and kinkier. There’s lots of stuff from all of the Fifty Shades movies, plus a little more thrown in so that you don’t feel like a total sellout. We like to use this one during erotic sessions involving bondage and BDSM, as well as just straight up more passionate, rough/agressive sex. You can also just search for Fifty Shades and pull up one of the mixes created by Spotify users that encompasses all the songs from all the movies. Each playlist is a little different, so we often bounce between them to have a little variety during our own Shades of Gray sessions.
Sexy Slow EDM
by Terry Tucker
A shorter playlist, but a great mix of EDM for sex. If you like this style and are looking to find new music, you might play this set and then let Spotify choose music based on this playlist once the songs run out.
Sex Songs 2021 Bedroom Playlist
by Den Haku Records
Lots of popular music, including Beyonce, Usher, The Weeknd, and many songs from the Fifty Shades of Gray soundtrack. These songs have a strong beat to them as well as sensual lyrics.
Moody x Mellow
by Jimmy Ngo
There are many days when I don’t want words — I just need the right sounds to help me focus my body and soul. This one does it for me on those days. It’s a short playlist but just long enough for sex. This is background music, heavier on the bass. It contains songs that are not as well known, allowing the music to blend into the background, adding a sultry air to your session.
Sexy Instrumentals
by Adam Tepperman
On days when I don’t want any words whatsoever and I want the music to float into the air around me, I put on a lo-fi, jazzy, chill playlist like this one. This is another one that I also enjoy for background music while writing.
Sex Playlist 2021
by Gay Nation
This is a popular one with all the classic lovemaking songs of the past several years. It’s much more R&B than other playlists on this list. Jack and I don’t typically do the R&B style luvin’, but this one isn’t bad for when we’re in a drunk, dancing stupor.
What are your favorite soundtracks for sex? I always welcome music recommendations!
